Getting Married Abroad with Children: How to Include Them

Planning to get married by the sea and taking your children with you? You may be wondering whether they'll sit through the ceremony, who will look after them while you're exchanging vows, and whether you'll be able to enjoy the moment yourselves. Having your children there doesn't have to make things more difficult. It may be what makes the day feel truly yours.

In the experience of YachtWedding, a former agency specialising in weddings abroad, nearly half of the couples travelled with their children, so it was hardly unusual. The important thing was finding a way for the children to be part of the ceremony, with someone there to help when they needed it.

They don't have to sit perfectly still

Getting married abroad can give you room to make the ceremony your own. Children might laugh, say something unexpected or come over for a hug just when nobody is expecting it.

Sometimes those unscripted moments make the day feel more like a family celebration than any carefully rehearsed plan. Of course, what works also depends on the venue and the type of ceremony. If a child needs a break, a rest or a little reassurance, it helps to have someone ready to go with them.

Give them a small part, if they'd like one

Before you travel, talk to your children about the wedding. Explain what the ceremony means and what will happen, in a way they can understand. Knowing what to expect can make it easier for them to feel involved.

Some children would love to bring a flower, carry the rings or stand beside you for a moment. Another lovely idea is to let your child make a small decoration at home and ask the wedding coordinator beforehand whether it can be included in the setting. If it's included, they'll see something they made themselves at the wedding.

But they don't need a job. And if they change their mind at the last minute, that's fine too. Feeling comfortable matters more than following a script.

Who will look after your child while you say your vows?

With younger children, there's one practical question to settle well before the wedding: who will actually be responsible for them during the ceremony? You'll want to concentrate on each other, not worry about who should step in if a child gets restless.

It might seem that the wedding coordinator could step in. But the coordinator has a ceremony to run and can't look after your child at the same time. Nor should you count on a guest volunteering at the last minute.

Grandparents, an aunt or another adult your child knows well can be a great help. Ask one specific person in advance, make sure they're happy to take responsibility and that they'll be there for the ceremony. Agree on what they'll do if the child needs to step away and how they'll contact you if necessary. Having that help may also give you a little time together during the rest of the trip.

If it's just you and your children travelling, a local babysitter may be an option in some destinations. Make sure a suitable sitter is actually available, find out who would look after your child and consider whether your child would feel comfortable with them. For younger children, meeting the sitter before the ceremony may help.

A wedding you'll remember as a family

Your children can be more than spectators at your wedding. They may have a memory of their own: the flower they carried, the decoration they made or the moment they stood beside you during the ceremony. The same idea can work when renewing your vows on a wedding anniversary.

You don't have to plan their every minute. Give them room to be themselves, don't force a role on them and have someone ready to take care of their needs. That way, you can enjoy the ceremony both as a couple and as a family.

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